Where my trust is without borders

In exactly one mouth from now, I will be embarking on the trip of a lifetime. I will be on a plane flying to Australia.

Recently I have been thinking about my trip a lot more than usual and contemplating a very important question as far as my time there.

Why?

Why am I going to Australia? Now, this may be the question that a lot of you have or are asking me, but ironically, I am asking myself the same question. Allow me to walk you through an incredible journey that has only just begun.

The Spring of 2013, I purchases this song on iTunes after hearing it at Clemson FCA called Oceans by Hillsong United. Some of you may have heard it. For the longest time, I would listen to it and never grew tired of it, but I never fully listened to the message.

"...Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me...Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior..."

I would be disappointed if you have not heard this part because they repeat it a few times. It never really hit me what the actually meaning of the song was until I was listening to it as a freshman in college. PETER WALKED ON WATER. Jesus asked Peter to trust Him with something that was literally impossible to human standards and the LORD defied human expectations through a mere mortal. What could Jesus do in my life that I can live with a faith that knows no borders?

So, January of 2014, I set my New Year Resolution to be to conquer fears. That was my one goal to focus on. Now, I have always wanted to study abroad ever since I could remember, but as I dove deeper and deeper into the world of college and college friends, I realized that going away for four months was going to be a scary thing. Let me back track a little. As classes in the spring started, I felt the Lord was telling me to conquer my first fear. Singing in public. The mere thought back in January sent my stomach to the ocean floor and my head like a hot air balloon. But I signed up for the class, told not a single soul and confessed my intentions to my music teacher who very confidently said that I would conquer that. The first time I sang for the class, I finished the song and immediately started weeping. Not because I thought I did terrible, but because I DID it! I literally did not care that I sounded like a deaf goat, what mattered to me was the God said it and I did it. That to me was the most rewarding thing.

Another one of my fears was opening up to people. This was a little less dramatic than singing in public, but it was nonetheless extremely intimating. Through this openness, I found my best friend for life, I was able to forgive relationships from my past, I was able to meet a group of friends whom I never would have met before, I met the most Godly guy who happens to be pursuing me, I was able to confide in people again, and I started to see that I am worthy of others' time.

A third fear the Lord called me to conquer was living in Clemson this summer and taking classes. This was more of a fear of man than a fear that initiated acid reflux. What would my friends back at home think? Will then shun me? Will I fail these classes? Will I have any friends here? Throughout this summer though I have boosted my GPA, had the opportunity to do design work for the Engineering Department, and discovered a blooming passion of mine. Oh yeah and I learned how to grocery shop.

Now back to Australia. This was the year to conquer fears, and it just so happened to coincide conveniently with the year I could study abroad; this I struggled to know if it was a selfish decision or God calling me. Obviously, He would not have called me to study abroad if He did not intend to use it. Which brings me to your question, why am I going to Australia? The simple answer, to conquer a fear and travel the world. This is not a fear of darkness or insufficient talent, this is a constant fear of safety and success. I love the beach, the ocean, warm places, "English", and straight chilln', but I do not know anyone going, I will not have met my roommates, I do not have any family or friends over there, and I have no idea what to pack. So the fear I am carrying with me is the uneasiness in being provided for. However, I serve a God who was with me in my singing class, who was there to provide good friends to me, and is there in Australia right now, paving the way for every step I take and every fear I will have.

Which brings me to my own question, why am I going to Australia? Honestly, I do not know the reason. Now understand, apart from me KNOWING for a fact that God has set apart this time for me to go, and I take great responsibility in listening, I do not fully know the PURPOSE of why I am going. And I plea to you, if you have made it this far in the post, to pray with me and for me. I do not waste time. As many of you may know me, I take every opportunity I can to take any opportunity I can. I am one who takes advantages of chances and even take risks. But I see this as quite possibly a once in a lifetime chance, and I intend to spend every moment searching for the reason God wants me over there.

I have ideas, premonitions, dreams of what my time will produce, but as I have learned, my Heavenly Father has a way of planning something inconceivable and immensely better than I could ever had imagined. Seriously. So I will not let a slight change in my location, time, studies, friend group, family, attention, environment, focus, clothes, diet, language, destination, etc, to alter the prayer that I have been praying all year:
"SPIRIT lead me WHERE my TRUST is WITHOUT BORDERS, let me walk upon the WATER, WHEREVER you would CALL me, take me DEEPER, than my FEET could every WANDER, and my FAITH would be made STRONGER, in the PRESENCE of my SAVIOR."

My Father has called me to go to Brisbane, Australia, and I am scared out of my mind. I am leaving the security of my family, best friends, boyfriend, college, apartment, state, city, climate (geez yes) and comfort to go somewhere that I have NO family, NO friends, NO comfort,  and NO familiarity. I asked my LORD to strength my trust, to give me a trust that is without borders, so He is taking me ACROSS THE WORLD. He is taking my feet through airports, cities, towns, schools, houses, churches, cars, and trains, where I have never seen before. He is allowing me to lack some knowledge of my whereabouts not so that I would wander aimlessly but so I can submit to His power to PROVIDE for me. He is calling me to a country surrounded by water that boasts of oceans and reefs and worlds of wonder that are deeper than anything I have every imagined in my life. He HAS called me to conquer fears because I ASKED Him to bring me INTO HIS PRESENCE.

Beloved, ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

From August 25-December 15 I am embarking on the journey of a lifetime. Not to get away and travel and waste time, but to know my Savior and live a life of uninhibited and unashamed trust.

Despite the Adversities

This weekend was a first for me. I house sat for the first time. Unfortunately, throughout this past week I was battling a sinus infection and was still drudging through that as I stayed over at this families house. With my summer school coming to a close, I was reluctant to do any studying. Also, I am about to have enter into my last month with my friends and family here before I start over for a spell and travel far, far away. This is mostly irrelevant information, however; I am stating all of this to put you in my shoes a little bit more than usual.

So I was, well, stressed. I was not sleeping well, I was sick, I was in a strange house, I had studying, oh yeah and it rained all weekend...appropriately so.

The devil was making some subtle but powerful attempts.

And that was just Saturday.

Sunday I was not able to go to sleep until 1:00 am, I woke up early to go to church and make coffee only to find my duties had been passed on, I went to the urgent care center in Clemson at 1:45pm and was not called back to the room until 4:45pm.

The devil was still trying.

Then Monday happened.

This is how Monday went:
-I slept through my alarm and woke up with 30 minutes to get ready
-It was poring, raining
-My rain coat is not a rain coat
-My book bag was a little extra heavy today
-I take pride and my parallel parking and for some reason my new medication hindered my ability to get my car in right
-I had to carry my camera and lunch pail
-I was so fatigued in class that it took all my mental ability to care about computer RAM and motherboards
-The mesh on my screen popped which means I have to start an hour long process over
-I had zit on my forehead
-When I got to work, I did not even get to sit down before my boss told me to fix a file, make copies, and re-send him an important file
-The copier literally ate one of the papers. Literally. I had to pry it out of its mouth
-My two o'clock appointment came at 1:00. That is a hour early people!
-He also did not know English that well
-And my lunch was still half eaten
-One of my co-workers could not download some of my pictures (probably because they were too large)
-I was still exhausted
-Dinner plans got cancelled
-Two cars honked at me on my run, one guy leaned out of his car and yelled something at me
-After not running for a week, hills become mountains, curbs become valleys, and oxygen thins gradually

And thats about it. Here I am.

Now, why did I list off all the 'adversities' I endured the past three days?

Because despite these misfortunes, I could not be more joyful to have been granted another day to seek God's face, hear His voice and experience His love yet another time! Please understand that all these little things could have surmounted to a rather rotten day, but I could not help but continue on with my day with contentment and peace in knowing that God is here, there and always with me, and He loves me. I called a good, good friend this morning at 8:20am apologizing for the spontaneity of the early call, but proclaiming how extremely grateful I was that God is still God even when printers, rain, and screens do not work to my advantage. I was telling her that in the past three days, my eyes have been opened to the divine and intimate love that God has set apart for my specifically and I am so honored that He desires for me to live for Him one more day on this Earth. The devil was at work, but failed miserably to get me to relent to his endeavors to distract me from my King. I realized that in the midst of my selfishness and weakness, the Lord wants me to know that He loves me deeply and desires the absolute best in my life. At this truth I fell on my knees pleading that I could experience this joy and love everyday. That I would put aside my flesh and allow the Spirit to fill up my soul and consume my presence.

"The LORD your God will make you abundantly prosperous in all the work of you hand, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your cattle and in the fruit of your ground. For the LORD will take delight in prospering you, as he took delight in your fathers, when you obey the voice of the LORD your God, to keep his commandments and his statutes that are written in this Book of the Law, when you turn to the LORD you God will all you heart and with all your soul."
Deuteronomy 30: 9-10

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8: 5

"The the dragon became furious with the woman and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea."
Revelation 12: 17